“Don’t breed if you can’t afford it” – the condescending advice gleefully typed by Karens and Kevins in comment sections everywhere. But should we really be listening to this?
Since spawning an adorable crotch hobbit of my own, the algorithms happily feed me all things related to children and parenting. Sometimes, I am brave (or stupid) enough to venture into the replies, and if you’ve ever made this mistake, you’ll know that comment sections on pretty much anything related to parenting are some of the most toxic places on earth. Everyone has an opinion.
Recently, one opinion has stuck with me across nearly every discussion of people struggling— even slightly more than they used to. There’s Karen after Karen, informing them that they simply should not have “bred” if they couldn’t afford it, that children are a “luxury” that only the well-off should be able to afford.
In a way, I get it. Of course, there are the Mick Philpotts of the world, for whom each child is a new payday. But then, he went on to kill six of those children in a fire, so he’s probably not a role model for many people. That said, in any system, there will always be those who try to take advantage.
Although many would label it racist to notice, it’s also important to note that first– and second-generation immigrants, many of whom are not economically active, rarely attract the same criticism. Nor do they seem to worry as much about whether they can afford to have more children.
For the rest of us, the rising cost of living – skyrocketing rent, bills, groceries, and (at least in the UK) an ever-increasing tax burden – alongside mostly stagnant wages, has our finances shrinking rapidly. Most people I know no longer dare to hope they’ll own a home; they simply pray that their landlord won’t price them out of the market or end up selling due to mounting costs. According to Shelter, nearly half of working renters in the UK are one paycheck away from homelessness, with homeowners in not much better shape. Interest rates have doubled in the last five years, causing soaring repossessions.
Additionally, thanks to the feminist movement, it’s now largely not viable for women to choose not to work. Most households cannot survive on a single income, meaning the cost of one lost income has to be weighed against the astronomical cost of childcare, which ironically, is often more than the mother’s earnings. Essentially, the economy sucks.
So, can any of us afford to have children? It seems that many – dare I say, the majority – are struggling or would be struggling if they had to factor in childcare. Perhaps we should just stop “breeding” and leave child-rearing to the rich. Case closed, we’re all too poor to have families.
But hold on a moment, let’s not forget: children born today are, quite literally, the future. They will take over when we’re too old and demented to run society. Without them, our population would die out.
Our rotten establishment has made the UK such an unappealing place to raise children, many Brits feel like their country is not a suitable place to home a family – for millions, they simply cannot afford it.
— Rupert Lowe MP (@RupertLowe10) March 15, 2025
That’s resulted in a fertility rate of 1.44 children per woman in 2023.…
Raising children is not just a personal investment; it’s a societal one as well, even though the local spinster might tell you otherwise. On a personal level, the experience of raising children is profoundly rewarding. The joy, love, and personal growth that come with parenthood are immeasurable. It teaches responsibility, patience, and resilience while fostering a deep connection to the future. Children bring new perspectives, challenge parents to grow, and strengthen family and community bonds
On a broader scale, children are the foundation of society. Sure, your short-term tax contributions may go down, and your children may make use of public services and benefits that they’ve yet to pay for. But they are the next generation of workers, leaders, innovators, and caretakers. A society that invests in raising healthy, well-educated children ensures its future prosperity. Without children, society faces not only the loss of cultural richness but also the collapse of future economic growth. In short, raising children benefits not only the parents and their families but the entire community and society at large.
So let me tell you a secret: you can afford to have children.
The financial strain of raising children is undoubtedly real, but it doesn’t require you to live lavishly. In fact, many aspects of child-rearing can be surprisingly affordable with a little resourcefulness. You may not be able to afford the designer pram or every fad toy on the market, but most essentials can be found second-hand, sometimes even for free. Children don’t need the latest gadgets or brand-new toys to be happy—they find joy in the simplest things, whether it’s a cardboard box or a second-hand toy. Research shows that children’s creativity actually benefits from having fewer toys.
You don’t need to be wealthy to create a happy, loving environment for children. What’s essential is investing time, attention, and effort. Beyond material items, what children really need is a stable, nurturing environment, and this doesn’t require a massive budget. When it comes to feeding little mouths, meal planning and buying in bulk can be a big help in keeping food costs down, even in today’s economy.
Families who utilise remote work, flexible schedules, and extended family support can ease the burden of both childcare and the cost of living. There are plenty of community resources and support systems, that can provide a network of support, government subsidies towards basics and childcare. And let’s not forget eager grandparents who are ready to spend an afternoon or two with their grandbabies. “It takes a village,” after all.
We must rethink our cultural obsession with hyper-independence and constant productivity. These ideals undermine family dynamics and ignore the fundamental value of community and cooperation. In today’s society, the relentless pursuit of material success often leaves families exhausted, fragmented, and unable to thrive. We look down upon those who choose to prioritise raising a family, especially when they have to ask for help to do so.
With the birthrate in the west already dramatically falling and life expectancy rising we may soon find ourselves in a hole we cannot dig ourselves out of. A society that fails to invest in the next generation is a society that risks its own future, and if we continue to fail to replace ourselves, we give our government an excuse to replace us.
Children are not a luxury you can’t afford, they are a necessity our society can’t afford to do without.
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As a female gamer, I do not exist.
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